Simon(e) and her inspiration

Simon(e) van Saarloos is the author of Playing Monogamy, published originally in Dutch and now translated to English, which explores intimacy, polyamory, and sexuality. Simon(e) incorporates a lot of philosophy into her writing that has led her to possess a unique and introspective view on ethical non-monogamy.

Simon(e), though living non-monogamously, found that there wasn’t any European- (and definitely not Dutch) based literature or resources on ethical non-monogamy when she first decided to write Playing Monogamy. Many (if not all) of the popular resources were North America-centric, and a lot of them were solely guides on how to live an ethical non-monogamous life. Simon(e) didn’t identify or relate to a lot of the existing literature on polyamory, and wanted to approach non-monogamy through a different lens.

Through a desire to cultivate more discussion around ethical non-monogamy from a different voice and different experiences, Simon(e) decided to write Playing Monogamy. Non-monogamy is a lens for her, which affects every bit of her writing, no matter what she’s writing about, as well as how she sees and experiences the world, which is important to share with others.

“[Literature on polyamory is] an attempt in which you acknowledge and realize that we have been conditioned in certain ways, and we can try differently. There’s also this sort of utopian sphere in non-monogamy that I actually want to honor…constantly pushing for something more and to imagine a world in which indeed love does exist, but in different ways.”

Simon(e) van Saarloos

In this episode, Simon(e) talks about her views on polyamory as a lifestyle, monogamy and safety, and other poignant, philosophical and cultural questions about ethical non-monogamy. Listen to the full episode to get her perspective!