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424 - Polysaturation: Exploring the Limits of Love

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What is polysaturation?

Polysaturation is the state in which a polyamorous person has as many significant relationships as they can handle at a given time.

Some of the factors influencing polysaturation can include time, distance, family, health, introversion/extroversion, partners' expectations, and the types of relationships. On the other hand, burnout is a broader term coined in 1975, encompassing emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and decreased sense of accomplishment, applicable to various aspects of life.

Beyond polyamory

Similar to many polyamory-specific terms, polysaturation reveals an essential concept that applies to all relationships but is often overlooked. The Poly Land blog introduces a few alternative terms that can be used by everyone:

  • "Connection-saturated," emphasizing emotional and psychological connections.

  • "Socially-saturated," focusing on social interactions.

  • "Emotionally-saturated," indicating a saturation of emotional bandwidth.

Polysaturation is more complex than simply counting the number of partners. Page Turner's article on Poly Land distinguishes between capacity and desire. Some seek additional relationships to fulfill a need, while others pursue non-monogamy for freedom, curiosity, or exploration. The saturation point can also be influenced by various factors such as time, distance, family responsibilities, health, introversion/extroversion, partners' expectations, and the types of relationships.

If experiencing polysaturation or social/emotional saturation leads to overwhelm, understanding burnout can provide a helpful framework. Burnout, coined by Herbert Freudenberger in 1975, consists of three components: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and decreased sense of accomplishment. Identifying social/emotional saturation involves introspection and assessing whether you are completely at capacity or have extra bandwidth without the desire to fill it.

How to avoid it

Establishing boundaries is crucial in managing relationships and avoiding saturation or burnout. Scheduling intentional quality time for self-care and completing the stress cycle are recommended. The Nagoski sisters' book, "Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle," highlights the importance of physical activity, deep breathing, positive social interactions, and creative self-expression to combat saturation or burnout. Communicating with partners, asking for support, and adjusting other areas of life can also alleviate the pressure.

Understanding polysaturation and its relationship to burnout is valuable for individuals in all types of relationships. Recognizing our limits and desires allows us to foster balance and well-being. If you're experiencing saturation, communicate honestly with your loved ones and prioritize self-care. By exploring the boundaries of love and practicing self-awareness, we can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

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